Sprinkle Once, Sprinkle Twice, Sprinkle (& Win) 'Chicken Soup For The Soul: Raising Kids on The Spectrum'

I'm a rabid reader. You're shocked, I'm sure, but it's true.

Growing up, weekly trips to the county library were a treat. And back then, we actually checked out books from the school library, too (something that all too quickly seems to be going the way of the Dewey Decimal card catalog system).

I have an indelible memory of actually crying in indignant shame when a school librarian wouldn't allow me to check out a book because "the reading level is too high for your grade." She wasn't censoring the (innocuous) content; it was the "reading level." (Oh, I'm sorry - are the big words going cause to an apocalypse in my young brain? Thanks to Mom and her indulging librarian intervention, the book came home with me the next day. Turns out, it wasn't very good, anyway.)

Like many readers, I go through genre frenzies and author binges. For example, I doubt I'll ever read a Danielle Steel again, but I greedily tore through her entire oeuvre available to date in my late teens. (My, she's prolific.)

So when my daughter was first diagnosed with autism, you bet I read everything on that parenting/special needs/autism shelf. Side Note: Have you noticed how that one, measly shelf has exploded into two bookcases these days? I don't have much patience/tolerance for those anymore. I live it and breathe it, and I've moved on to other Goodreads lists. Yet, there are a few exceptions and occasionally I crave a good autism cry (there a a few varieties ranging from the ugly cry to the battle cry.) Some of my favorite of those books are here.

And, if we're being honest, I am a sucker for an unopened, unread book of any kind - and I have way more of them hanging around my home than I have time to read them. I wish you were my neighbor and I could lend some to you and you could brew me a cup of coffee. Alas, we'll have to settle for a book giveaway. It's your lucky day, and I've rustled up a shiny, new book just for you. For keeps.




I had the wonderful opportunity to preview Chicken Soup for the Soul: Raising Kids on the Spectrum. I didn't even groan once when I heard about it because it's got some great stuff in there - whether you're newly diagnosed or old hat.


The book, just published in April, is straight up "Chicken Soup"y, so there's no need to officially review it for you, as far as I'm concerned. It's an amalgamation of advice, inspiration, self-help, sympathy, empathy and love packaged into 101 personal stories from a variety of writers (mostly very good writers - including some of my own very talented friends). Of course, like most "Chicken Soups", it should be read next to a box of Kleenex and chased with something tart. Still, I only skipped over a very, very few essays and loved the rest.

To showcase this fine book, I was going to hit up one of the contributors to guest post/host this giveaway.* I then was going to interview them with all sorts of journalistic-y, revealing questions. Oh, and I was going to create a fill-in-the-blank contest where you were going to blind me with your brilliance and win the book on merit. Oh yes I was!

Buuuuut, if you've read my last post, you'll know I Lost Time - and still haven't found it. So for now, I decided to go with the never-fail approach of flashing "FREE BOOK GIVEAWAY" at you in hopes that I can reclaim your attention - and just hit "publish" already. So go ahead and enter. I promise it's just perfect for your grade level - whatever that might be. Take that, Madam Librarian!

HOW TO ENTER
1. Comment below by midnight JUNE 21, 2013 - be sure to login or include your email address so I can contact you if you win.
2. Winner will be randomly selected using highly advanced, sophisticated (or rather free, low-tech) web tools and will be notified by JUNE 24, 2013. You'll then reply promptly with your mailing address.
3. Book will be sent from publisher representative directly to winner. You'll love it!

*I'm totally going to hit them up for guest posts another time, I promise.

xoxo Maurice Sendak

Party On, Dudes (And Be Excellent To Each Other)

There are some things IRL friends just don't understand. Generally, if you're not a blogger, online parties make absolutely no sense. Amiright?

And if I'm being honest - which OF COURSE I always am - they still confuse me a little bit too.

That said, I participated in the ULTIMATE (say it loudly with jazz hands, please) Blog Party in 2012 and discovered some fantastic blogs and new friends. Even better, I can stay safe and sound in my "special needs" category - my peeps - and not be intimidated by the likes of those beauty and style bloggers.

So, here we are again. I'm supposed to write a post telling you all about who I am and my little corner of the Internet. Instead, using my trademark methods of cheating  laziness my-child-is-screaming-in-my-ear-for-eleven-chicken-nuggets efficiency, I will share with you some posts that give the ugly, hairy, ridiculous picture of what you'll find here.

Awareness Galore: A Collection of Autism Awareness Month Posts

 Loading InLinkz ...

Liebster Love: Let Me Call You Sweetheart (In German)

You know how the movie industry likes to award itself lots of trophies and then create parties, TV specials and weeks of media coverage about it? The Liebsters are kind of the same, except without trophies, TV specials and media coverage because the winners must have under 200 subscribers...so nobody really cares except ourselves. Oh, and we're bloggers - not famous, glamorous, highly paid superstars with designer gowns.

That said, if I only had two readers - I'd want them to be you, and the brilliant blogster, Linda, of Autism and Oughtisms. Receiving this recognition from Linda must feel exactly like receiving an Academy Award (without the SWAG). I'm just guessing though.
So, let's review the rules and make sure I do this right. Would hate to have my Liebster retracted.

RULES

1) You must thank the person who gave you this award (Autism and Oughtisms, yo!)
2) You must display the Liebster heart on your blog. PROUDLY.
3) You should nominate 3 to 5 up-and-coming blogs (some rule variations say 11) with fewer than 200 subscribers. Just to be safe, I'm doing 11! That's right, 11.
4) Each person must post 11 things about themselves. Riiight. See section below.
5) Answer the questions given to you by the blogger who nominated you. Got it.
6) Create 11 questions for those you nominate to answer. Fun! Scroll way down.
7) Notify your nominees and provide a link back to your post (no tag backs because the point is to try and highlight new bloggers and spread the support). Sure, check my list at the end of this post, AND on my Facebook page and my Twitter stream (see what I did there?).

11 THINGS ABOUT ME

1. Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck. Some nights I call it a draw. Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle. Some nights I wish they'd just fall off.
2. I'm a bitch. I'm a lover. I'm a child. I'm a mother. I'm a sinner. I'm a saint. And I do not feel ashamed. I'm your hell. I'm your dream. I'm nothing in between. You know you wouldn't want it any other way.
3. I'm not aware of too many things. I know what I know if you know what I mean.
4. I'm sane, but I'm overwhelmed. I'm lost but I'm hopeful. What it all comes down to is that everything's gonna be fine, fine, fine.
5. I can see clearly now, the rain is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way.
6. I'm a little bit country. I'm a little bit rock n roll.
7. I want to scream. And shout. And let it all out.
8. I sing the body electric. I celebrate the me yet to come.
9. I'm through accepting limits, 'cause someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change, but 'til I try I'll never know. 
10. I believe the children are the future.
11. I like to eat apples and bananas.

Um, I might have plagiarized a little there. Sorry about that, but why would you think I wanted to talk about myself, anyway? Sheesh.

QUESTIONS Asked By Autism and Oughtisms (and I'm leaving her kiwi spelling in because it's just so adorable):

1. Why did you start blogging? I've been a writer since I was seven years old (I'm sure my journal entries were compelling)...writing is cathartic. I don't have time to write a book, so blogging is the perfect venue for now. Through my blog, I can explore, learn, connect, commiserate and celebrate. I can barely draw a stick figure nor do I build things; writing is my outlet.
2. What’s your favourite piece of art? My pillow.
3. What’s your favourite scent? My pillow.
4. Who inspires you? My children, my husband, my parents, my siblings, you...and these people:
5. Name one major event that shaped who you are today. Skip. (Don't I get a skip? Fine, see any blog post.)
6. What one super-power would you choose and why? This one's easy. I want to be able to pause time, like that guy in Heroes. So many possibilities. I'd nap. Shower. Never be late to anything (just stop everyone else and weave through traffic). KILL at Scramble with Friends. Fit in all the kids' therapies. (Or check out this extensive list of My Superpowers.)
7. What pets do you have? An old, lazy dog. 
8. What’s your favourite plant? I can't really embrace plants; I already have enough creatures in my house to keep alive. Can I pick a tree? Weeping Willows. It just feels like they are full of stories, and they are so peaceful to watch swaying in the breeze.
9. What event in nature takes your breath away? I could stare at the ocean for hours.
10. What was your favourite subject at school? Literature, of course. In college, it was my Reporting class. It was required for my major, but also legendary for dropping GPAs. Sometimes, NOBODY in the entire course got an A. Oh, how I loved that A...and that class. It combined all the things that drive me: writing, learning about people and things, deadlines, storytelling and exploring issues from all angles.
11. What countries have you visited? Not enough. Tried to go to Holland once (bad autism joke...but I think I really would love to go to Holland someday.)

MY QUESTIONS for my award recipients...and may I suggest you take your assignment more seriously than I did:

1. Which of your own blog posts is your absolute favorite? Explain why and link please.

2. What song makes you perk up every time you hear it? 

3. What book are you reading now (or what's the last book you can remember reading)?

4. List three words that describe your life.

5. What's your favorite app?

6. What keeps you up at night?

7. What was your first job?

8. What's for dinner?

9. What would you love to learn if you had the time?

10. Which holiday do you love the most?

11. Are you sorry I tagged you?

PASS IT ON
SURPRISE!  There are so many amazing bloggers out there, so I've gone with the rule of 11. (Autism and Oughtisms also listed some of my besties, so check them out!)

I now bestow the Liebster Award to these blogs because: I love reading them and you will too; I believe they haven't been tagged recently; and I think they fit the criteria of under 200 subscribers (although they each deserve way more). If I'm wrong, sorry and congrats on your success!

• Living on the Spectrum: The Connor Chronicles
• Mostly True Stuff
• My So-Called High Functioning Life
• Military Special Needs Network
• Going Insane, Wanna Come
• The Third Glance
• Fractured Family Tales
• Mindful Meerkats
• Painting With Picasso
• Fasten Her Seatbelt
• Blowing Kisses and Making Wishes
• Punky Mama

Oops. Actually, I think that's 12, but I'm not bothering to recount. Or choose. So you get a bonus blog...you're welcome!
There. Nailed it! Next award, please. 

Am I Normal?

I wasn't going to post this today, but this ongoing conflict* within the autism community is eating away at me. So I'll make it quick.

I was hanging out with my son today in the kid's nonfiction section at Barnes & Noble, one of his favorite places on earth (well, it really could be the nonfiction section of ANY bookstore).

Leaning innocently next to the almanacs; the "Wacky But True"s; and the good, old "Book of Why," we saw this book: "Are You Normal?" (At least they had the sense to put normal in quotation marks!)

I'm sure that title was someone's seemingly clever way of cheaply and quickly repackaging a bunch of facts from the "humans" section of any of those other books I mentioned above, but National Geographic, REALLY?

This week's online autism community drama aside, "am I normal" is a very real, very poignant question for parents of any "quirky" kid. When they ask it, it can be glorious - because it requires a level of social awareness that might not come naturally. Still, when they ask it, how could your heart not skip a beat?

So my son sees this "Are You Normal?" crap, picks it up, flips through it, and puts it down.
Then he says this:

"Everyone should know there's no such thing as normal.
A lot of people are going to be disappointed."

I hugged him so hard.

-----------------------------------------
*Here are a few thought-provoking posts and comment streams from well-respected blogs that touch on this disturbing divide.

• Along Came The Bird: A Different Look At Autism
• Yeah. Good Times. "I Wish He Was Normal"
• Mama Be Good: Power and Pain: The Autism Community and You Can't Hate Autism and Expect Acceptance

Twitter? I hardly knew her...Until #YouMightBeAnAutismParentIf

Oh Twitter, how do we love thee? Let us count the ways.

I am a mild technology geek and early adapter. I often can troubleshoot a computer glitch one or two steps past "just reboot it". And I was "social networking" on Prodigy long before AOL sent you its first mail promo installation CD.

Despite all that, I really and truly didn't get Twitter. See, in 2011, Facebook updates were at an all-time low point (here's what I ate for breakfast; I'm standing in line at the post office; I'm getting a haircut), so the last thing I wanted to do was to expose myself to more inane updates, even more frequently.

Still, I had to know what all the fuss was about - especially when my own mother had 1,000 followers. As luck would have it, I started tooling around on Twitter at the same time the brilliant Jenny Herman (Many Hats Mommy) and Elise Ronan (Raising ASD Kids) conjured up the #youmightbeanautismparentif hashtag phenomena as a birthday gag. Here's the story.

Before you can say, "me too," I was hooked.

The hashtag, while not at its height where we were quipping ourselves ragged 24/7, remains sporadically active and forever connects us. It has, at times, mobilized, supported, infuriated and educated.

I know I'm late with this tribute - the tag is almost a year old now - but I still would bet that anytime an autism parent happens to stumble upon this hashtag for the first time on Twitter, they spend an hour or more searching the hashtag, reading an archive of awesomeness, and finding many new Friends. Not "friends" or "followers," but Friends. 


SO, because this hashtag feeds my soul and provides incomparable camaraderie (and because I'm under the delusion that I'm hilarious and poignant today), I am going to archive my #youmightbeanautismparentif brilliance on my blog. See, that's what cool about blogging; I can do that. I've also used my blogging dictatorship rights and just now decided to do it in a separate post RIGHT HERE...because this setup is getting kind of long and I don't want to steal my own thunder. 

Meanwhile, here are some links to other's related blog posts (and generally some great blogs you should check out anyway) showcasing and featuring #youmightbeanautismparentif. You can tell just how much I wanted this hash to live on and on and on if you've seen this post:  I Made A Feed. 

***Oh, and please chime in, because there's nothing more magically supportive and cathartic to those of us who play this game than either hearing or being able to respond: "me too!" in 140 characters or less. Enjoy!

• My list is here:  You Might Be An Autism Parent If... 
• Where it all began. Many Hats Mommy:  Click here. 
• The Bobbi Sheahan interview
• Autism Wonderland: Click right here.
• Spectrummy Mummy:  And right here.
• Our Adventures With Riley:  Oh, here too.
• Raising Asperger's Kids:  And another one.
• The Aspie Side of Life:  Again, just click.
• Mozart, Picasso & a Princess:  Clickity clickity.
• The birth of "All Kids Do That" series on Yeah. Good Times.: You know what to do: Click 
• Running for Autism:  C___.
• Pooping Red Guy:  It's a link right here!
• Unhandicapping the Disabled Life:  One more.
• LivinLife123:  Last one. Click away.

We Are Here: A Community Mobilizes To Help Its Own

A few months ago, I started writing my story in the form of this blog. I didn't know then and still do not know where it will lead me, but along the way I discovered a fulfilling, new community of friends. We live across America and across the globe, and we speak to each other daily in 140 characters or less.

Since most of us are connected as parents of children with special needs or even as inspiring adults on the spectrum, we have a bond of empathy and shared experience, so 140 characters is all we need (and we don't have much time for more).

When we have more to say, we often blog it. When I logged into Blogger for the first time, I had no idea - or maybe just didn't really care - that I was pretty much entering a foreign country with its own politics, language and monetary system (think likes, retweets, follows and sponsors instead of dollars and cents). However, perhaps because membership in this particular niche is so bittersweet, this community embraces newcomers warmly, even though they might need some TSL lessons first (Twitter as a second language).

The truth is that many of us feel more connected with this empathetic online community than we do IRL. So while I had no intention of taking on yet ANOTHER cause in my life beyond those living in my house, I am motivated to do what any good neighbor does - help in times of need. I also have adopted the group zeitgeist. One person's outrage becomes group outrage, and we all know that hell hath no fury like an online community scorned.

Today, I am sharing two important posts that have changed my worldview just a little bit. Both were generated by my fellow bloggers who know:

1. The stylus is mightier than the sword.
2. The world is a rough place - especially for those struggling to navigate it --but we've got each other's back.

Take a look:

When Teachers Are The Bullies: It's About Dignity
Please watch Akian's story. It's hard. You probably will cry. You will be outraged. It's what keeps me up at night. (Metaphorically, of course...we all know that I have two actual, crazy kids keeping me up at night. But this too!) Still, I implore you to watch. How is is possible that people like this are teaching children? It's about dignity!

Calling All Bloggers: To "I Wish I Didn't Have Aspergers" - An AutismPositivity2012 Flash Blog Event
Whether you believe you are a qualified participant in this Autism Positivity "Flash Blog" or not, take a moment to think about how you would respond to this person...or to any person who expresses that they wish they were someone else. To someone who must live with an unwelcome identity that they cannot change. I can't wait to read all of the wonderful blog posts next Monday. I have no idea yet what I will write, but I so badly want to do it. After all, one day this could be my child.


I hope and pray that Akian's family and the nameless Googler  -- as well as all those whom they inevitably represent -- find some comfort, support and camaraderie among this amazing community, just as I have.

When Teachers Are The Bullies: It's About Dignity

Originally posted on Yeah. Good Times. Republished on My Whac-A-Mole Life with permission.

Note from Jill Smo: Feel free to reprint this post anywhere you like, just please include the links to the sites I have at the bottom. I don't need to be credited for it, but Stuart does. 


Outrage for Akian: It's About Dignity
I know I said I was tired of talking about autism, but this is something I just can't stay quiet about. 

I've spent a lot of time here talking about how one of the most frustrating things about autism, for me, is that when Child 1 is upset, he has so much trouble telling me why, that oftentimes I just won't ever know. When he comes home from school upset, which luckily doesn't happen often, I will do anything and everything to try to find out why. Can you imagine if your sweet and happy autistic child started getting aggressive at school for no reason, how much you would try to find out why? Do you know the lengths you would go to for your child? I would do whatever it took, I can tell you that. Whatever it took.

I saw a video today, posted on reddit. It was of a father whose sweet and happy autistic child, exactly Child 1's age, suddenly started getting aggressive and violent at school and he had no idea why. They had IEP meetings, they met with a Behaviorist, he worked the system just like he was "supposed to," for 6 months. But when he got nowhere, he played a hunch, put a wire on his kid and sent him to school to record what happened there.

It turned out that his son, Akian, was being verbally abused by his teacher and aide in his classroom. I'm posting the video below, but I have to warn you that it is VERY upsetting. I had a hard time getting through it all, but I will sum it up for you.

It's mostly Akian's dad, Stuart, describing what happened, and you also hear some of the recording of the horrible things those people say to him.

They called him a bastard. These adults, whose job was to protect and help and teach children... they laughed at him, made fun of him and called him a bastard.  I'm horrified by this.

Stuart turned his recording over to the school district, and also the media. An aide was fired but the teacher was not. The school district has said that it has handled the matter appropriately and apparently they think the matter is closed.

Stuart doesn't think the matter is closed. In the video he says directly to the adults involved: "I want a public apology for what you did to my son. I want your full name out. I want you to come forward. I want you to take responsibility for what you do and then I want you to resign.... Not for me, but so one day I can play this video back for my son and say, 'Akian, you didn't deserve anything that happened to you. These people are at fault.' I'm not looking to sue anybody. I'm not going to file a lawsuit. It's not about money. It's about dignity. This is to reclaim my son's dignity. You owe it to him."

Let's help him get the word out. Below the video I'm posting some links where you can get more information. 


***Note from My Whac-A-Mole Life: To really experience this video, you actually have to watch it. There are subtitles and captions that you will miss if you are just listening.

• No More Teacher/Bullies A webpage set up to explain the video and the situation
• No More Teacher/Bullies on Facebook
• Stuart's email address

I'm turning off commenting for this post, because this isn't about me. Also, I want to be clear, and Stuart was clear in  the interview that he did for his local Fox affiliate, that this isn't about the 99% of teachers who are great at what they do, this is about the 1% that aren't, and I don't want this to turn into a discussion about education reform and teacher unions or any of that bullshit. If you want to comment on the video, get more information or give Stuart your support, please go to the Facebook page and do it there.

Calling All Bloggers

Reprinted with permission from Autism Positivity

To "I Wish I Didn't Have Aspergers": An AutismPositivity2012 Flash Blog Event


A couple of weeks ago, someone somewhere googled “I Wish I Didn’t Have Aspergers”.  The phrase popped up in a blogging dashboard and struck the blogger as being particularly sad.  She wished she could have answered.

We don’t know who it was.  We don’t know where he/she lives.  We have no idea if he/she found what he/she was looking for in that search.

We do know that search directed that person to a blog.  We do know the searcher clicked on it in an attempt to find what they needed.  And we do know enough about the challenges of autism to know that person is likely not alone in that sentiment.

So, we got to thinking.  What would we say to that person?  What if it was a kid, desperately trying to make it through tough years of intolerance and ignorance?  What if it were a person who might never stumble across the amazing voices speaking for autism acceptance?  What if that person thought himself/herself all alone?  What would we say about the present?  What would we say about the future?  What would we say about happiness?  And hope?

Each of us in the autism community –- self-advocates, parent advocates, friends and family, teachers, health professionals—we would all have different messages for #IWishIDidn’tHaveAspergers.  But likely we would all try to send the message that there is a brighter future and that friendship and support are out there.
We are asking every blogger in the autism community to write a message of positivity to #IWishIDidntHaveAspergers.  So that next time that individual (or another) types that sad statement into Google, he or she will find what they need – support, wisdom, and messages of hope from those who understand.

And – for those of you who do not blog but wish to join in – please post your positivity message to http://autismpositivity.wordpress.com/ or send us an email at autismpositivity@gmail.com
Please join with us on the last day of Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month – April 30^th – in a flash blog of autism positivity.

To participate:

1. Publish your post on April 30^th in the following title format:  “[Your Blog] to ‘I Wish I Didn’t Have Aspergers: #AutismPositivity2012”.
2. Share your post on Twitter and Facebook, using that hashtag.
3. Add your link to the Autism Positivity website and grab the badge:
4. Share/reblog this message to your blog, page, etc.

This Autism Positivity Flash Blog Event is the brainchild of Thinking About Perspectives, a group of bloggers committed to increasing autism awareness and acceptance via open and respectful dialogue.  We are:  30 Days of Autism, Outrunning the Storm, The Third Glance, Aspie Kid, Flappiness Is, Quirky and Laughing, Life on the Spectrum, Fairy Tale Forgotten, The Aspie Side of Life, and Inner Aspie.