Scene: Utter Chaos
September 2011:
Look, both kids have spring break at the same time this year - starting on March 30th. Isn’t that great? We should plan a vacation! Because staying home alone with both kids is already giving me the tremors.
October: NA
November: NA
December: NA
January 5, 2012:
Brr. Let's talk about going to the beach on Spring Break.
Remember last year, when we went on a beach vacation for my birthday instead of having a party (score one for mom)? Can we do that again?
Sure!
January 10: So which beach should we go to? Fly? Drive? Lots of possibilities, but so many factors to consider.
· A beach that's not too crowded BUT crowded enough that our ruckus doesn't disturb too many people.
· Will everyone be in a decent enough mood?
· Can we tolerate a long drive or a flight?
· What will be the obsession du jour? Will it be transferrable?
· Where are my migraine pills???
January 11:
Hey mom, I Googled beaches and wrote down a list of the ones I like. Look at this one. And this one. Aren’t they perfect?
January 15:
So where are we going?January 20:
Do your homework.
Dad, I made a list of pros and cons for each of the beaches and hotels we talked about. What do you think?
January 25: A Text Exchange
9:52 am: What do you think of Puerto Rico?
10:25 am: Have you gone insane? Who do you think we are?
11:02 am: We rarely go on vacation (rarely leave the house). We should go all out. We’ll need to update our passports. Can you take care of that this week?
11:03 am: Have we met?
February 5:
Mom, Are we REALLY going to the beach?
Of course.
When will we know where?
By your birthday. Promise.
February 9: Text: We need to talk about vacation.
February 11: Text: We need to talk about vacation.
February 14: Text: We need to talk about vacation.
March 9: An email exchange
2:07 pm: If we’re really going anywhere, we should make plans. I can use points from here, book this ticket, use a companion ticket and we can fly first class to Miami. We’ll just have to take the 8 am flight.
2:11 pm: Fine. Just book it. I don’t want to talk about this vacation again until we’re there.
March 11: A text exchange
We need to talk about vacation.
Didn’t you book it?
It was too complicated. I couldn't do it online. There are only a few seats left. And not ONE of them is together.
Speed-dials phone. We’re driving anyway. No way can I get our act together enough to fly. That involves actually packing in suitcases. In advance!
March 16:
Want to check out the new places we are considering within driving distance?
No, I’ve learned my lesson. Tell me when you make a decision.
March 19: Text: We need to talk about vacation.
March 23:
Have you decided? I can’t wait to go in the ocean and jump the waves.
Hmm, Place A and B are great beaches, but might be too cold. Spend next hour trying to convince son that being on the beach with a jacket is just as fun. No can do.
March 25:
Google Surf Reports at various locations. Call hotels and ask if anyone is swimming in the ocean.
One hotel receptionist: Sure, off and on. But I probably wouldn’t.
Can you connect me to reservations?
Book hotel. Hooray!
March 25: Daughter packs suitcase with bathing suits. Only. Hour-long tantrum ensues when told we are not leaving quite yet. Repeat exercise daily until departure.
March 26: A Text Exchange
We can still drive to Miami if we stay somewhere else on the way. Extended email description of route, hotel stops and timing follows.
Is there something wrong with the reservations we made yesterday?
No. Just looking at all the options.
NO MORE OPTIONS! PLEASE!
March 30: Depart for vacation. Start planning for next spring break.
END SCENE
